


All I Want

by wisherbystarlight



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Amputee Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Dirty Talk, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Nipple Play, Oops, Pet Names, Rimming, Teasing, other minor mentioned relationships, way too much backstory for porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 12:39:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4835696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisherbystarlight/pseuds/wisherbystarlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He could pretend it was him who Bucky rocked through multiple orgasms a night, or fucked so hard they broke the bed, just like the stories Bucky told him. Because Bucky was the only one Steve ever loved, and God almighty if he didn’t earnestly wish it was him... Steve wasn’t petty- he wouldn’t lose the man he’d always loved over a dumb sex thing, but the annoyance and confusion was always there, nagging at the back of his brain- ‘He doesn’t want you as much as he wanted them.’"</p><p>In which Steve could have totally prevented all of this if he had just said something, Tasha interferes before the idiots miscommunicate for too long, and Bucky is amazing in bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Want

**Author's Note:**

> I spent way longer than I should have on this. Please read the tags! See bottom notes for notes on feminization. Hope you like it!

Steve Rogers spent most of his early years scrawny and sickly and altogether not desirable. Bucky Barnes spent most of the same time as the biggest catch of their high school. He lost his virginity when he was 16, and Steve spent most of his teens listening to his neighbor and best friend tell him, in detail, exactly what he did with each person he took to bed. Bucky called it “secondhand experience” so that “you know what you’re doing when someone finally realizes what they’re missing,” because he was always convinced that Steve was a total catch. He heard about Bucky taking people apart until they begged, figuring out what got them going and exploiting it til they screamed. Steve spent that time absorbing everything he could, not for some ridiculous approximation of experience, but for the dark nights when Bucky went home, when Steve could lay in bed and pretend he was on the other end of that laser-sharp focus, that teasing smirk, those fucking eyes. He could pretend it was him who Bucky rocked through multiple orgasms a night, or fucked so hard they broke the bed, just like the stories Bucky told him. Because Bucky was the only one Steve ever loved, and God almighty if he didn’t earnestly wish it was him.

They graduated high school and Bucky enlisted, pledging 4 years while he worked on an engineering degree simultaneously. Steve went off to school to become an artist, his long list of ailments preventing him from even trying to follow his best friend to the battlefield. They always spent the entirety of Bucky’s few-and-far-between leaves together, travelling between their two homes as they always did as children, Bucky still full of stories that were conspicuously absent of anything resembling the actual war.

Life went on, miraculously, even without Bucky at his side every step of the way. By the end of his sophomore year he gained one girlfriend named Peggy Carter, finally hit his growth spurt, volunteered as a test subject for a new asthma medication, took up running with his new friend Sam, and finally put all the years of Bucky’s advice to good use. He and Peggy didn’t end up working out- they both agreed that they loved each other but were not in love with each other, and remained very good friends- and Steve dated around a bit, men and women, but nothing ever seemed to stick, because none of them were Bucky. He made a good group of friends through Sam and Peggy, and they all gathered together in Tony Stark’s(yes, that Tony Stark, long story) giant on-campus house for pizza and movies every week.

2 weeks before Steve graduated with a dual degree in animation and visual arts, his phone lit up with a call from Bucky’s sister, Rebecca, which wasn’t unusual. She often received news before Steve did on Bucky’s general whereabouts and safety and made sure to keep Steve in the loop. He picked it up and wedged it between his shoulder and his ear, “Hey Becca, did you hear when Bucky’s supposed to be back yet?” His blood ran cold when he realized she was crying. No, no no no no no, he was due back at the end of the month! He had finished his degree and was supposed to come home and no.

Rebecca seemed to sense his sudden dread because she hurried to reassure him, “He’s hurt but he’s alive Steve. He’s alive, in New York, and they have to operate. He’s gunna lose his arm Steve. Half of it’s already gone.” She broke down again but Steve barely processed anything beyond the fact that he was alive. He was putting on his coat before he even thought about it, gently milking the hospital and room number from Becca while soothing her at the same time.

He hung up as soon as she seemed relatively stable and dialed a second number, “Stark. Remember that favor you owe me?”

 

It took 6 months of intense physical therapy before Bucky was anywhere near the person he used to be, but it would have taken much longer without the highly advanced Stark tech within the prosthetic arm. The first time Bucky had opened his eyes and saw Steve, he had squinted and slurred, “Thought you were smaller,” before promptly passing out again. Steve stayed with Bucky the entire way, helping him through the painstakingly slow process of getting his life back with all the dedication that Bucky had put into him when he had pneumonia for the thousandth time as kids.

Tony Stark was many things, but no one could say he wasn’t good on his word. Steve had saved his life once, when Tony’s crazy uncle had almost had him killed in a bar Steve just happened to be at, and Tony kept his promise of “anything you need.” Bucky had an arm that was the latest and greatest in the field and a job waiting for him at Stark Industries once he was healed. Steve wasn’t sure if the second part was because of him or because Bucky really was so incredibly smart, but he certainly wasn’t complaining.

Bucky left the hospital on a rainy Tuesday in October. He climbed into the passenger seat of Steve’s car and they moved all of his stuff from his parent’s house to the nice apartment on the skirts of Brooklyn that Steve had rented with his new job animating for the marketing department at SI, and they became roommates.

One month into living together, Bucky finally asked him out. He took him to a sushi place and demonstrated just how far he had come by using chopsticks with his metal hand, then kissed him gently before they got on Steve’s bike(“Seriously, I go to war and come back to find out you bought yourself the most dangerous vehicle you could ride on the roads,” Bucky had quipped when he saw it parked next to the car. Now he couldn’t get enough of it). They were truly inseparable after that. Natasha called them an old married couple, Peggy called them “the idiot lovebirds,” and Sam, lovingly, called them disgusting, and Steve loved every single second of it. Bucky blended with his friends perfectly, bonding with Clint and Natasha particularly over their shared love of shooting ranges(though they had very different tastes in weapon which they argued about fiercely) and shared Russian heritage, respectively.

Steve was so happy he could cry, except for one thing- the sex was so vanilla you could call it ice cream, with not even a dash of the hot passion Bucky had bragged to him about so many times before. It was always the same, face to face, just enough foreplay to get them both hard, maybe a very efficient blowjob, and Bucky pressing in so achingly slow it was torture. Steve wasn’t petty- he wouldn’t lose the man he’d always loved over a dumb sex thing, but the annoyance and confusion was always there, nagging at the back of his brain- ‘He doesn’t want you as much as he wanted them.’

He never claimed to not be whiny though, and Sam and Natasha liked to get him drunk. One night when Bucky was working late to finish a project for work, the three of them sat down with a bottle of vodka in Sam’s apartment and he spilled the whole sordid tale, possibly in too much detail but he never did hold his liquor well. Sam played his best friend part very well, nodding seriously and wincing sympathetically at all the right places and never mentioning what Steve knew was pretty spectacular sex life with his boyfriend Riley. If Steve was more sober, he probably would have been worried about the look on Natasha’s face. She seemed contemplative and ducked out relatively early in the night, claiming that Clint needed her for something. They’d learned not to question her after all this time. He and Sam fell asleep on the couch while watching whatever stupid movie they had drunkenly found interesting on Netflix.

Steve woke up the next day to his phone buzzing in his pocket and his head pounding with a hangover to end all hangovers. Damn Natasha and her Russian vodka to hell. He pulled his phone out and glanced at the message that had woken him up, brow creasing in confusion when he saw it was Bucky, ‘Stevie, when are you coming home? Wanna talk about something.’ He typed out an ETA quickly and stood and stretched, hijacking Sam’s shower for a few minutes to wash away the stale alcohol smell and most of his hangover, and changed into the clothes he brought just in case something like this happened. He headed out the door, receiving a beleaguered groan from Sam in goodbye, and hopped on his bike for the dozen or so blocks to the apartment, trying his hardest to ignore the remaining pounding of his head.

When he pushed open the door and smelled bacon frying he got real nervous, real fast. Bucky always cooked when he was either anxious or thinking, and it was making Steve anxious trying to figure out which one it was this time. He peeked hesitantly around the corner and was relieved to see that Bucky looked more contemplative than tense. He wandered up behind his boyfriend and rested his chin on his shoulder while his arms wrapped around his middle, “Smells good, what’s the occasion?”

Bucky had begun to relax into Steve’s arms but tensed just enough for Steve to notice at the question, “No occasion, just felt like spoiling you a bit. Have fun at Sam’s? Tash bring the good stuff?” Steve nodded and burrowed into Bucky’s neck sleepily, not having the energy to point out the set of Bucky’s shoulders without at least two cups of coffee. Bucky shrugged him off with a laugh and nudged him in the direction of the- oh thank fuck- full coffee pot and he happily filled the largest mug they owned and drowned it in sugar. He took long sips as he leaned against the counter and watched Bucky cook, headache finally starting to subside slowly.

Bucky plated the food and brought it to the table and Steve followed him eagerly, ready to eat now that he wasn’t so nauseous. He’d always been the one to get the worst hangovers, but he was the fastest to get over them. He dug in happily, moaning a little at the taste of his omelette, and was so distracted he didn’t notice Bucky taking a deep breath in preparation before blurting out, “Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t sexually satisfied?”

Steve choked on the sip of his coffee he was taking, coughing for a good minute while Bucky patted his back guiltily before he looked up with wide eyes, “Why the fuck would you think that?” Bucky looked down at his plate and refused to meet Steve’s eyes and it hit Steve instantly, “Natasha. She left right after I… Oh fuck, Bucky no, I’m not unsatisfied at all, I promise.” He paused, then, and thought for a moment, “Ok maybe a little, but that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with stupid shit I have hanging on from high school that I need to let go of.”

Bucky’s forehead crinkled between his brows and, god, Steve was an ungrateful bastard. Bucky should never look that worried, and especially not over something Steve had done. In the middle of Steve’s mental chant of ‘stupid, stupid, stupid’ over and over again, Bucky finally figured out what he wanted to say, “Tasha said I was too careful. Is that it?”

Steve sighed and pushed his omelette away, though he did drain the dregs of his coffee. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed a hand over his face, “It’s not that big of a deal Buck. Swear. It’s just stupid fantasies I still had from all that shit you used to tell me about in high school. Like how you made Lexi Motagna come 4 times in a night? Or when Rudy Peters begged for 10 straight minutes? I don’t know, I guess I just grew up wishing it was me, so when we finally got together and you took everything slow and to the point, I was a little disappointed. But I’ll get over it, don’t worry. You don’t have to cater to me if you don’t want that stuff anymore. I-” He had something else to say, probably another reassurance, but really could not for the life of him remember because Bucky had leaned across the table and pulled him in for a fierce kiss that left him gasping when he pulled away.

“You always looked so uneasy when I was telling you that shit, but you never told me to stop,” Bucky remarked as he stood and made his way around the table, then inserted himself in Steve’s lap, “Thought you wouldn’t want this, but you weren’t uneasy were you, punk? You were jealous.” Steve nodded shakily, hands coming up to Bucky’s hips and cheeks flushing pink under the new attention. Bucky smirked and tangled his fingers in the hairs at the back of Steve’s neck, “Oh you little shit, I could have been taking you apart for months. Gimme a safeword sweetheart, in case it’s too much.” He latched onto a spot just below Steve’s ear as he waited for an answer, seemingly unable to keep his mouth to himself for even a second.

Steve looked around the room, searching for something inane since his mind was definitely not working well enough to figure it out on his own. He landed on the calendar on the wall in the corner, “April.” Easy enough to remember, though he highly doubted he would need it.

Bucky nodded and pulled away from Steve’s neck to admire the decent hickey he’d left behind. He stroked his thumb over the spot and hummed thoughtfully, “What to do to you first, hm? You wanted me to take you apart, baby, so how about we have you lie on the bed and map that pretty body with everything I’ve got. See how long it takes before you’re really begging.” Steve’s eyes darkened and he moaned brokenly, already well past the point of embarrassment. “But since you left me in the dark so long,” Bucky drawled, tugging on Steve’s hair gently when he whined in protest, “Oh come on now honey, did you really think I would let you get away with that? I’m gunna make you tell me what you want before I do it. So I get to see that gorgeous blush travel down your whole body.”

Steve squirmed in earnest now, hands restless and tugging at any bit of fabric he could find, “I can do that, fuck, yes, whatever you want.” Bucky pulled out of the weak grasp easily and pressed a soft kiss to Steve’s forehead, then shot him a wink and headed off towards the bedroom, Steve standing and stumbling after him hastily. He was getting everything he’d ever wanted and Bucky wanted to give it to him and Steve had never been more turned on in his entire life.

Bucky waited for Steve just inside their bedroom and gave him a sinful grin as he shut the door behind them. Steve was unceremoniously pushed onto the bed, but he certainly wasn’t complaining since Bucky took the opportunity while Steve was still orienting himself to strip his shirt off and climb on top of him. His hips were pinned under Bucky’s and the look in his eyes told Steve he was in for a long night. Bucky quickly claimed his lips again and nipped at his lips until Steve moaned, then pulled away teasingly, turning the sound into a needy whine. He chuckled and brushed his metal fingers gently through Steve’s hair, “C’mon babe, you already forgot what I asked? Gotta use your words Stevie.”

Steve pouted slightly, lips swollen from the light make out session, but started thinking of how best to phrase what he wanted, “Want you to do everything to me that you did to them.”

“Oh now that’s a cop out Stevie,” Bucky tsked, tugging playfully on a strand of hair, “Gotta be more specific.”

Steve crinkled his nose in frustration, unable to think with Bucky over him and shirtless and smirking. He didn’t have the concentration to say anything other than what was going through his mind at that exact moment, “Want your mouth on me, Bucky.”

Bucky grinned like Steve had just made his day, “Oh sweetheart I warned you to be specific, but you just gave me permission to put my mouth all over you.” He pushed Steve’s shirt off with the grace of practice and started at his neck, kissing and sucking his way down and stopping at any spot that made Steve’s breath hitch. He marked up his collar bone at a crawling pace until he was squirming and whimper in protest before pulling back to speak again, trailing his fingers lightly up and down his sides, “Change your mind about what you want?” Steve nodded furiously, already hard and desperate, and Bucky laughed again, “I may be convinced to give up tasting every last inch of you if you make me an equally appealing offer.”

Steve hated how he was falling apart in Bucky’s hands while the other man was still able to use terms like “equally appealing.” He thought as rapidly as his cloudy mind would allow before remembering a key point in most of Bucky’s old stories, “C-Can you play with my nipples?” He blinked innocently up at Bucky and watched his boyfriend’s eyes go wide and darken.

Then, suddenly, they narrowed in playful suspicion, “Stevie, have your pretty tits been sensitive this whole time and you haven’t said a word?” Steve blushed brightly, caught enough off guard by the phrasing and the effect it had on him that he nodded on instinct. Bucky tweaked a nipple, hard, and Steve yelped in surprise while his cock twitched against Bucky’s ass, “You’re my living wet dream Rogers, you know that? Know how long I’ve been lusting after these?”

He paused his monologue, which was making Steve increasingly flustered, to focus on the peaks at hand, rolling them between his fingers and watching Steve struggle for friction where he was pinned down and grasp at the headboard to brace himself, since Bucky’s position made it hard to grab onto him. “Don’t you make a gorgeous picture like this, tempted to tie you up like that,” Steve’s desperate moan cut him off and his smirk grew wider, “Maybe next time, want you to be able to touch if you want to this time around, sweetheart. For now I think I’m gunna stay right here and, how did you put it? Play with you til you scream?” He plucked Steve’s nipples until they were an angry shade of red, watching his back arch tantalizingly under the ministrations, before he leaned down to get his mouth and, after a moment, his teeth, around the left one, making Steve nearly sob. It was too much and not enough all at once and Steve thought he was going to go crazy with it.

Bucky finally let Steve breathe after a long while and Steve heaved in air like he used to when his asthma still acted up. While he recovered, Bucky took care of their pants and underwear in an efficient way, causing them both to sigh in relief. Once Steve finally got his breath back, Bucky went back to casing his body for hidden sweet spots with his mouth. He found erogenous zones that even Steve did know about, like his hipbone and the inside of his knee. Steve, in turn, found that if he dragged his blunt nails over the base of Bucky’s spine just right he could make his best friend lose his concentration briefly. As thrilling as the exploration was, Steve was really getting desperate, cock untouched and leaking on his stomach, and if Bucky didn’t get a hand on him soon he was positive he would go off untouched like a teenager.

Bucky seemed to pick up on that, but still didn’t pay attention to his cock the way he wanted him to. Instead, he turned him gently and pulled him up on all fours, situating himself between his legs and raking his nails down the insides of Steve’s thighs and over his crack until the muscles shook and Steve begged, “Please Bucky.”

Bucky swatted his ass lightly, not really spanking so much as tapping, but it got Steve’s attention just as well, “What was my one request, huh? Be specific Stevie.”

“Please play with my ass,” Steve moaned, pressing back, all sense of shame long gone in the wake of the intense arousal coursing through him, “Fingers, tongue, cock, I don’t care, just give me something, please.”

To say Bucky complied would be an understatement. He spread his cheeks and licked a long stripe from taint to hole that made Steve’s arms finally buckle. He sucked and nipped until the muscles relaxed, then fucked his tongue in and curled it in figure eights that had Steve moaning his name. He fumbled with the nightstand as he worked, making a triumphant noise that vibrated through Steve when his flesh hand closed around the lube.

Steve groaned in disappointment when Bucky pulled away and Bucky gave him another light tap on the ass(it only seemed to get him more worked up, and Bucky filed that interesting piece of info away for later), “Which hand do you want, baby?” Steve shook his head with a frustrated noise, unable to voice anything beyond “Please” and Bucky’s name at that point. Bucky hummed thoughtfully at this new development, then leaned around him to pinch both nipples again, “Put your hand on the one you want sweetheart.” Steve tapped the metal arm without hesitation and Bucky nodded seriously before twisting both nipples to hear the shout it drew from his lover. He pulled back and lubed his metal fingers before slipping one into the tight heat, other hand petting gently over his ass to get him to relax more.

Bucky discovered he really liked using the prosthetic to open Steve up. The fingers were slightly larger and the less forgiving metal made stretching him out much easier. The only downside was that he had to rely on Steve’s reactions to find his prostate, but he was trying to avoid it anyway with how close his boyfriend seemed to be. He would take another night to abuse that sweet spot til Steve cried.

On the other end, Steve was so close he could taste it, but every time he was about to tip over the edge, Bucky pulled away just enough to keep him hovering. The metal was cool enough to make him gasp but warmed quickly and felt amazing pressing into him. Once he got close enough that he didn’t think he could hold off any longer, he made a noise of warning to Bucky. His boyfriend slid his fingers out immediately and wiped his fingers on the bed before leaning over to kiss Steve awkwardly over his shoulder as he pressed his cock in. That endeavor was given up quickly as they both moaned in relief.

“Hold on for me, Stevie, ok?” Bucky gasped, pulling out as far as he could and pressing back in rapidly, “Don’t come ‘til I tell ya.” His Brooklyn accent was out full force, and that alone would be enough to make it hard for Steve to fulfill that request, but coupled with the brutal pace Bucky set, it was damn near impossible. He made a whine that was a combination of a warning and a protest and Bucky grabbed his cock, tight, to stave off the impending orgasm. “Do. Not. Come. Yet,” he growled, pounding into him at a speed just shy of painful. He groaned lowly when Steve clenched around him at the order and felt his own orgasm building, letting go of Steve’s dick immediately. “Come, now,” he managed to moan just before he came himself, seeing stars as the best orgasm of his life coursed through him and Steve’s ass constricted around him. Steve panted for breath after riding out the aftershocks, just barely managing to roll over when Bucky pulled out so he wouldn’t be laying in the wet spot.

Bucky collapsed on his chest moments later and Steve hissed when he bumped his oversensitive nipples. He got his fingers in Bucky’s hair immediately, tugging out the sweat-damp knots, teasing lightly, “Aren’t you supposed to be cuddling me after a show like that?”

Bucky didn’t dignify that with a verbal answer, waving a hand around vaguely in a way that he hoped conveyed that this worked too. The message was generally understood and they laid in silence for few minutes, catching their breath and reliving the eventful morning in their mind. Eventually Steve spoke up again, “We should really thank Natasha.”

Bucky laughed and looked up into Steve’s eyes, “I’m gunna send that girl a motherfucking fruit basket.” Steve grinned brightly and let his hand drop out of Bucky’s hair, and while that was highly disappointing, it gave him the chance to lean up and kiss Steve gently, “Love you. Til the end of the line, you punk.”

“Love you too, jerk,” Steve responded with far too much fondness for the insult to ring true.

“So,” Bucky grinned with a glint in his eye, soft moment gone, “Wanna come to the sex shop with me before next time? There are a few things I think you’ll like. Long as you’re not too chicken to come.” Steve raised a brow at the challenge. This would be a very fun arrangement.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feminization notes- at one point Bucky refers to Steve's nipples as tits
> 
> This is my first time posting porn so hopefully I didn't do too badly. This is something I've had floating around for a long time. I'm not crazy about the ending but I'm terrible at endings so that's to be expected. I may write a sequel if anyone is interested. I'm wisherbystarlight on tumblr, come be friends and ask me things or send me prompts.


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